The Thinking Cap

2003-11-30T10:26:00.000-05:00

thanksgiving

so to follow standard procedure: my thanksgiving was nice. ate lots. chilled lots with the family. went to the mall and marveled at the capitalistic machine in motion, haha.

it was slightly different than other thanksgiving's though, seeing as how my parents were not in town. they were actually in the jungles and mountains of Peru, so it was just my sisters and i that were home for the weekend. they're coming home today though, so we'll all see my parents before we go. don't fret.

i feel like time as a whole is undoubtedly moving faster as time itself progresses. kind of like an upward sloping exponential curve [kind of a 'J' like shape] (i'm a nerd, i know). in the past, i always felt like thanksgiving was about a month before the end of the semester; the perfectly timed break that let you take a breather just when school (or even life to some extent) had you on the brink of madness. . .

now, i feel like the semester is already over, and thanksgiving is merely stage one in my winter break. classes only have a a couple weeks left, and i think two weeks of classes feels much shorter now than it did a few years ago. this seems circular, but to quote musiq soulchild, the bottom line is that "time waits for nothin', and everything's gonna take its time."

that was ridiculous. i apologize.

on another note, why does the "holiday season" start so damn early these days? i swear, i see an ad for a "christmas in july sale" [in july, naturally], and a month later i'm seeing actual christmas decorations. and 100.3 WNIC? they've had christmas music going since halloween. 24/7 almost. now i love christmas music just as much as the next person, but to me, half of its appeal is that you only get that 3 week window to enjoy it. i guess that's being redefined too in our post-modern rediscovery of our collective self.

metrosexual. that doesn't have anything to do with anything, i just hadn't heard the word in a couple days and was experiencing withdrawal.

2003-11-21T03:27:00.000-05:00

quasi-epiphanies

there's nothing worse than realizing you have nobody to blame but yourself. . .

2003-10-13T16:13:00.000-04:00

just a flyin' by . . .

here i am, in my room, with the posters i have yet to put up since i moved in sitting in the corner. i've been meaning to finish that stuff up, but i just moved in, it takes a little while to get everything settled. . . .

then it hits me. i moved in almost two months ago! which makes me realize that senior year is going by faster than all three of its predecessors, which is not what i was expecting given my demanding course load of 11 whopping credits.

i've been planning to start preparing for LSATs since August. but it's ok, i still have a long time before December 6. i have . . . wait, only 6 weeks?!! and midterms are when? next week?! where has the time gone?!

time for me to get my act together. . . .

2003-09-23T12:35:00.000-04:00

snooze haze . . .

i wonder if there is a word to describe the hazy thoughts and senseless mutterings that i have everyday while pressing the snooze button every eight minutes. . .

i hope i'm not alone in this experience, but every day, while my alarm clock is beeping away right when it should, i hit the snooze button within the first few seconds of hearing it. every time. without fail. while i do do this with hopes of gleaning just eight more solid minutes of sleep, this never really pans out.

see once my alarm has gone off, i'm never really awake, but i'm never really asleep either. i'm stuck in this in between stage where nothing makes sense and everything makes sense at the same time. i'm caught in between reality and dreamworld. real occurrences intertwine with dreamscapes but it always takes me awhile to figure it out.

i think there should be a word to describe this, in fact, there probably is . . . lil help?

2003-09-20T13:23:00.000-04:00

randomness . . .

you know what i absolutely love? driving around when the weather is nice and it's noon. yes, noon. the reason for noon you ask? simple, the "high noon hot mix" or whatever name each radio station gives to this phenomenon.

i don't know when it started or who started the trend, but the quick mix at noon is probably the greatest hour of radio ever. for those who aren't familiar, here's a quick run-down:

many radio stations, predominantly hip hop or top 40 stations, have one of their DJs (actual DJs, not the ones who talk about their children and their dog and layman's politics in the mornings) spin whatever they want for an hour every day at noon. now this is unique because the playlist is no longer inhibited by the constraints of popular culture, the billboard hot 100, or even the square executives in the boss's office.

for a pure hour each day, you can hear a good DJ spinning his [or her] favorite tracks and getting really really creative while doing it. the other day i heard billy squier's "the stroke" mixed in with 50 cent "magic stick." now if you've heard both of these songs, you're thinking: what?! and it definitely was weird, but somehow this DJ worked out a mix of 80s rock and 2003 pop hip hop . . . and it made it sound gooooood.

man i miss blogging, let's hope my internet doesn't kick out . . .

2003-08-26T03:42:00.000-04:00

sign #122 that i'm rapidly getting older . . .

i went to a friend's house to chill tonight. as i pull into the driveway, i notice there are a bunch of cars already in the driveway. "oh, his dad must be having poker night," i naively think to myself . . .

i go inside and hear a pretty loud group of kids downstairs, it turns out that my friend's little brother (who is 17) was "having a few friends over" apparently. i wasn't born yesterday, i was in high school just three short years ago, so i'm definitely still down with the lingo, shit, i invented the lingo. actually i didn't, but i did revolutionize it [for details, direct inquiries to my parents]. . . for those who may not remember as well, i'll try to explain:

a high school guy stating he is "having a few friends over" more specifically means he is inviting a few of his boys and a few random hot girls over with hopes of convincing everyone to get in the hot tub. keep it real. . .

so moving on with the story, i enter my friend's house and see the aforementioned little brother with his aforementioned boys and aforementioned hot girls. here's where it got disturbing for me. these girls actually were hot, which didn't shock me, but i definitely was taken aback by their outfits.

even though i never thought i would harbor such an opinion, i found myself wondering, "is this how 17 year old girls today dress? my female friends sure as hell didn't dress like that when i was in high school." that's a frightening thought, and an even more frightening statement, mainly because i fear that detachment from the pulse of the youth is the first step in the long road towards senility . . . maybe it's not that dramatic, but it's disconcerting nonetheless.

than i realized to what this may be attributed. when i graduated from high school, the britney spears/christina aguilera phenomenon was really just gathering steam. in fact, it wasn't until my first week of college that britney had her famous strip-show performance at the VMAs. i never realized how much impact stars like her have on people around high school age. . . the fact that teen girls' wardrobes have so drastically evolved in the past 3 years illustrates this pretty vividly i suppose. . .

i don't think i have a point with this, but it's just something i found interesting. and no, i don't have a thing for high school girls for anyone who may be gettin' the wrong idea here.

2003-08-16T12:19:00.000-04:00

powerless and dirty . . .

i have officially decided that running water is infinitely more important to me than electricity. after only a little more than 24 hours without electricity, i must admit i was less than ecstatic when the power came back on without running water.

there was definitely a point where, when i wasn't sure when the water was coming back, i became very conscious of how much water i was using. i used melted ice from a drink someone had left out to wash my hands, purell was my new best friend, i took sips of bottled water every 1-2 hours . . .it was interesting.

the funniest part was that there was really no reason for me to be so cautious in rationing my use of virtually everything, but part of me wanted to see how disciplined i could be i suppose. . .

i think i did pretty well, except for the long-ass shower i took when we finally got our water back this morning. i'll tell you one thing: i'll never be caught without flashlights, batteries, bottled water, and other amenities again . . .

2003-08-12T12:46:00.000-04:00

honk honk . . .

i think there's an unspoken language behind honking your horn in your car. now in any area where there's a lot of traffic, or even just a lot of cars (like a parking lot after a sporting event), you're bound to hear a million horns sounding seemingly in a haphazard pattern of lengths, frequencies, and intensities.

but when you think about it, you can really say a lot by merely sounding a monotone horn. it can be used to express a multitude of emotions or responses, from anger to salutations to menace . . . for example:

if you're pissed off cause someone just cut you off, you pound the horn, often for 2-3 seconds to effectively communicate your frustration and anger, at the same time telling them "there's nothing i can do about what you just did, except bitch about it to myself or my passenger, which is exactly what i'm doing right now punk" . . .honk

if you're stopped at a red light and you see someone you know in the car next to you or walking in front of you, you might tap the horn twice, so as to get their attention but not make others think you are angry or frustrated (as described above). "hey [friend], i can't really stop to talk to you because i'm in the middle of traffic, but i'm just saying hi . . . i'll probably call you on my cell phone right after this just to say 'hey, i see you! whats up?! k bye.' "

if you're waiting outside someone's house to pick them up, you might also give a double horn tap, but each tap is likely to be a little longer than the aforementioned attention-getter taps, so that whomever you are picking up will know you are waiting and that it was not merely some random person trying to say hello to a friend they saw on the street (again, as described above). "hey, i'm here, waiting for you . . .get your ass out here quick, i don't have all day."

and last, if you're weaving through traffic, and you are not sure if the biker or other car in front of you knows you are there, a quick single tap of the horn is the perfect signal of: "hey, i'm here, i'm not threatening you or pissed at you, i'm just lettin' you know i'm here . . . so don't change lanes, otherwise i will threaten and be pissed at you . . . "

2003-08-04T20:52:00.000-04:00

the burbs . . .

quite a change from DC . . .just yesterday afternoon i returned from my fun-filled and work-filled internship summer in DC. overall a great experience, though it is weird to be back home.

today, i had quite the day in suburbia . . .

it started by me fixing up my room of course, since i had all my stuff from my place in DC to sort out and put back in its temporary place until i move it again when i leave for school in a few weeks. then i went to lunch with my parents, and took a quick tour of my dad's new office, which is opening in a few weeks (so if anyone is in need of an excellent pediatrician, let me know, i'll hook it up)

i then hit the real suburban meat of my day by going to the mall, getting my hair cut, buying some gel (or wax or pomade or fiber or whatever it's actually called), seeing 16 year old girls who dress like they're working the corner on 8 mile, missing the days of high school, getting a frappaccino (mocha coconut, if you must know), then going to blockbuster and renting a movie and buying starbursts. oh, and i went to the dry cleaners too. . .

good to be home though, good to be home . . .

2003-07-28T23:45:00.000-04:00

shattered . . .

as if living in a dungeon was not bad enough . . .

let me tell you what it feels like to have your hand bust through a glass window while trying to close and lock your broke-ass door that won't close or lock properly in your dingy-ass dungeon of an apartment (which you are paying an arm and a leg for, mind you) . . .

it sucks. a lot. and it hurts like hell.

i stood there for a second, in disbelief. i heard the window shatter and saw my hand go through it, and i definitely felt the pain as i instinctively pulled my hand back out, slicing it up nicely on its way out. . .but it did not quite hit me yet until i saw the puddle of blood start to collect on the ground . . .

ugh, i know this probably makes it sound a lot worse than it was, but still. it was not the most pleasant experience when you're already bitter about the freakin' dungeon you live in. ok, i'm gonna go change my bandages . . .

at least there's no stitches required. . . i don't think. mom, dad, and sis would've been proud by my first aid medical response . . .

2003-07-28T13:24:00.000-04:00

what you up to tonite?

i've realized that i need to start making plans for the weekend way in advance. . .

apparently calling someone at 8pm on a friday night is not enough notice to make plans for that night [who knew?], but that makes me wonder: what is the socially acceptable buffer?

now obviously tuesday is too soon, that's just ridiculous, and thursday is probably too late, as many people start their weekend festivities on thursday night (myself included, at least at school). that leaves wednesday, which probably represents the problem for me. to me, wednesday is hump-day to the extreme. it sucks. it feels like you've gone through an entire week already, and then you realize that you're only halfway done. ugh. when i get back from work on wednesday night, a huge part of me wants to go out and have a great time til whenever, passing out at 4am with utter disregard for what time i wake up the next day . . .

but, i always am thinking in the back of my mind: dude, you still have 2 more full days of work left, and while it's perfectly acceptable to drag ass on fridays, the same does not quite hold true for thursdays. thus, i end up sitting at home not feeling particularly social. given this anti-social temperament, making plans for what appears to be an astronomically distant weekend is the last thing on my mind. . .

meanwhile, it's only monday. 0.5 down, 4.5 to go . . .

2003-07-25T16:38:00.000-04:00

some thoughts that hit me as i walked back from lunch today . . .

is there a rule that every tourist in DC must carry a set of standard equipment while walking painfully slowly in the middle of the street and standing in the middle of the subway escalator? if there were (which i suspect there is), i think it would include the following:

1) huge sunglasses (with the strap that keeps them around your neck, of course)
2) a hat (or visor if one is "feelin' frisky"*)
3) fanny pack stuffed to the brim with essentials such as sunblock, maps, cameras, eskimo pies, umbrellas, etc.
4) an ensemble consisting strictly of khaki shorts (of an unnerving length), white shoes, socks (pulled up to calf-length), and a blinding white T-shirt that says "FBI" or "CIA" on it (with the creases from its former residence on the table on the street still prominently in view)

haha, i love people watching . . .

*i've actually seen a shirt with the words "feelin' frisky" on it recently. what the hell does that mean?

my other quasi-epiphany happened as i was chatting with co-workers on the way back from the amazing japanese market where we ate lunch:

if a group of guys is walking, sitting, eating, or whatever, something interesting happens whenever a hot girl walks by . . .no matter what the topic of conversation is or who is speaking, all conversation must cease once the beautiful girl is in sight. it's kind of an unspoken rule, but i'm sure many have spoken about it before, so let's just call it an unwritten rule. the best part about it is the girl is not even mentioned most of the time; often a quick glance to your buddy or a subtle biting of your knuckle is sufficient to communicate all that needs to be said. it's not like everyone stops talking and turns their head to gawk either . . .the male species has evolved wayyyy beyond that. that's so 1990s, ha. i think perhaps one of man's (and i do mean man, not personkind or whatever the most PC term is today) greatest accomplishments is the ability to stare at something without really looking at it . . . go us.

now when the girl is again out of sight, conversation will likely continue as if nothing had ever happened (again, often times without even a mention of what had just transpired). but we all noticed . . . and we all know we all noticed. it's sort of like the alley-oop of everyday conversation; we're definitely communicating, just not perceptibly i suppose.

i know you're thinking this is fairly chauvinistic of me, but keep it real, you know you do it too . . .

and they say men have trouble expressing their feelings . . .ha

2003-07-23T12:36:00.000-04:00

Disney, free will, authority, and delusions of grandeur . . .

something random occurred to me as i was flipping through the channels the other day. i flew past emeril, CNN, MTV Jams, and a slew of otherwise forgettable entertainment and stumbled on Aladdin, the cartoon. i remember watching this cartoon when i'd get home from school (this was not that long ago, by the way), and from what i can remember, enjoying it.

of course the most memorable character is the Genie, voiced by none other than not-quite-Robin Williams in the syndicated cartoon version. the Genie is funny, he's a little on edge, and a little slow-witted, but he means well and will do anything for his friends. overall he's a good guy, but more importantly, watching the cartoon got me thinking about his own free will, or lack thereof.

now if you recall, in the movie version, Aladdin tricks Genie into getting him out of the cave of wonders without using one of his precious three wishes. very clever al. BUT . . . after saying that was the only freebie he would get, the Genie presumes to make a wish for Aladdin when he helps him escape near death after being thrown in the river. . .

herein lies the problem for me: when citing the "rules for wishing," the Genie declares there are certain things he absolutely cannot do, as he is bound by Genie law not to. now obviously, he is physically able to do many of these things that seemingly would violate his rules. Remember that he willfully took Aladdin out of the cave of wonders and essentially made a wish for him to save his life. this implies that the Genie has a perfectly operating sense of rational free will, and has control over his actions, more or less.

but if the Genie can choose when to say "damn the rules!" then why is he voluntarily abiding by them? is he so good-natured and altruistic that he refuses to bend the rules for the sake of humanity, order, or possibly authority? that doesn't make sense either, because then it wouldn't matter if a person with bad intentions became his master (i.e. Jaffar, to continue on the cartoon tangent) because the Genie could simply refuse to grant any wishes with malicious intentions. . .

i have a point . . . i think.

doesn't this remind you somewhat of a political leader, or any person of authority for that matter? they have certain responsibilities and there are definite laws or rules that limit their abilities, in theory. but then there's that special case . . .causes can vary from corruption to nepotism to megalomania to plain old arrogance. the special case is when this individual thinks the rules don't apply to her/him/it. when they take matters in their own hands and get their friends out of their own respective caves of wonder. many people have major, major problems with this. i'm not so sure i do. . .

a person in a position of significant authority theoretically, and most often practically, has a whole lot more going on than most others. given the hightened amount of expectations, pressure, and responsibility that they perpetually feel, why can't they be allowed a few freebies every now and then? i know it doesn't make very much sense logically, rationally, and maybe even morally, but it just doesn't seem like that big a deal in the grand scheme of things--as long as its not abused. . .

now whose job is it to decide whether or not this authority figure is abusing his magical (read: financial, political, institutional, etc.) powers? . . . that's a whole other headache . . .

that'd be a fun job . . .where do i apply?

2003-07-23T11:12:00.000-04:00

make it stop . . .

at some point in the past 6 months, i started to get old. i know, all my 24+ friends probably still think i'm mad young, but it's really weird how time catches up with you. only one more year of school left. friends applying to all sorts of graduate schools. friends getting married. others getting engaged. people buying condos and not just renting apartments anymore. it's scary man.

my mom has been flipping out [though she will deny it flat-out] about the fact that my sisters are unmarried still at ages almost 25 and 28. now this has provided material for many a mother-son argument,* but recently she's taken it to a whole new level. a few months back, she started asking me questions about my matrimonial future. i was shocked, terrified, and surprised all at once. she says to me: "you know, you said yourself that college is the best time to meet people, and it's unrealistic for me to expect your sisters to meet great people so easily now that they're out of school. . . maybe it's time you stopped being so picky and found a girlfriend."

talk about your all-time backfires. i could see the smirk on her face too, she knew she had me. she took my own argumentative words and used them right back on me months later. she's good, i'll give her that.

but all this is definitely a recent development. . . i used to be the one she would bitch to about how all her friends' children were getting married. now i've become one of those unmarried children. ok, ok, i'm exaggerating. she's not on my case that badly . . . yet. but it definitely is indicative of her changing mindset. the fact that she mentioned it, even tho she was half-kidding [and therefore half-truthful] means i'm not just the baby anymore in her eyes, which has just as many benefits as drawbacks i suppose.

hmm, i'll have to think of more on that . . .

*my mom and i LOVE to argue, it's freakin' amazing, we both love it and love each other for it. though we rarely are genuinely angry, we frequently can be pretty passionate in selling our take. we think it's healthy, and we still get along great, so i don't see any problems with it.

2003-07-14T17:34:00.000-04:00

i'm bored at work and google my nickname (suj) to see what comes up. [i googled the nickname cause i've already googled the real name of myself and everyone else i know in the world it seems]

anyway, i came across the website, almost in a blog like format, of a kid named sujeet desai. granted, we're very different, but i think there's a lot to be learned from a guy with this much determination and such a positive outlook on things. give his site a visit and give him a shout out if you got time . . . i guess his parents love to hear from people.

2003-07-10T16:04:00.000-04:00

not quite a music snob . . .

seeing as how i like to have the occasional gripe-fest via my blog, here's something else that really bothers me: people who pride themselves on their taste in something (most frequently in music) when they in fact have terrible taste in that particular something (again, i use music as the example).

now i'm not gonna name names, but some of you definitely know who you are (one in particular cause he always gets clowned for it). why does it annoy me so much? well, even though the argument sounds very snobbish on my behalf, in reality it is a somewhat altrusitic notion that gets me so pissed about this.

imagine if someone, who does not know much about music [or whatever], is friends with a person of poor taste. they're looking for some new stuff to listen to, buy, download, whatever. they ask their friend for some suggestions. their friend, thinking they have a keen ear* for this kind of thing, recommends the newest Murder, Inc. release from the geniuses that are Irv Gotti and Ja Rule (it's hard to relay sarcasm on the internet, but know that i've laid it on pretty thick with this comment). . .

do you see the potential danger here?! what if that was his friend's first exposure to music, food, art, books, movies, etc.? they would be SCARRED, dejected, and quite possibly petrified at the thought of trying something like that ever again. now hopefully, one knows their friends pretty well, and knows who to ask for advice in certain fields. if this were true, then this situation could be entirely avoided . . . but what if one is so deceptive and so convinced of their good taste that they've managed to mislead everyone into trusting their opinions . . . see i'm just lookin' out for the good of mankind here people, i'm not trying to sound like a jerk.

that is what scares me and keeps me awake while i'm dozing off at work . . .

[* insert any appropriate sensory organ here]

2003-07-09T11:03:00.000-04:00

i made the mistake of eating bad sushi the other night. actually, it wasn't quite bad, but it definitely wasn't good. i should have know better, it was a monday night, like 9pm, so 1) the fish was probably from the weekend, and 2) it was almost closing time so it had probably been sitting out all day.

i got my mexican roll, spicy california, and tamago (and ginger dressing-salad of course), took one look and knew i would be disappointed. in my experience the best tuna is always fairly bright, it looks fresh, like it was just stolen from the ocean. this was almost maroon. i thought maybe it was just a different kind of tuna that i wasn't familiar with, so i gave it a try. eh. i couldn't finish either of the rolls. i threw out about $8 worth of sushi, i was not happy. it was ok though, cause i went to sleep soon after so i wasn't left hungry for long . . .

which leads me to another low point of freakin' work life--the lack of time for anything other than work. granted, i've grown quite accustomed to the college lifestyle of sleep late, don't sleep much, go to class, work out, study, practice, meetings, and all sorts of other fun stuff . . . but that doesn't mean i can't adapt to a new lifestyle. however, workin' life sucks. you get up early, work alllllll day, get home at like 7. if you want to go work out or something, you have about 5 hours to do that, eat dinner, shower, and do anything else you want to do with your day (which is actually night by this point). that's so little time. i guess i understand the meaning and origin of "weekend warriors" now; they don't bother sleeping in cause it would eat into their 48 precious hours of unadulterated freedom.

fuck that, i'm sleepin til at least 11 to make up for the early weekdays. luckily, there's a dearth of natural light in my 'dungeon,' so my weekends are safe. . . for now.

2003-07-08T17:53:00.000-04:00

i've always been fascinated by the amount of criticism people dish out to hip hop music for being "too violent, too thuggish, hateful, etc." i think the term hip hop is too general, we need more subcategories . . . think about it . . .you have everything from talib to tupac to tribe to ja rule to LL to missy to mary j. to def poetry to air jordans to kangols to air force ones to ice to platinum to 22s to escalades to 5% to . . . and a whole bunch of other shit that can be defined or classifed as "hip hop."

now i know that there are already some subdivisions (i.e. rap, gangsta rap, r&B, soul, etc.) but are they really strict enough or definitive enough to clearly determine what belongs where? i certainly don't think so. why does this matter in the grand scheme of things? simple, it's unfair to label a huge umbrella-like genre based on isolated incidents or characteristics of a small subset of the genre. you following?

here's an example of what i mean: as i mentioned before, people claim hip hop is too violent or preaches hate or whatnot. now maybe, maybe i could see someone's point if they only looked at the surface level of a lot of the shit that comes out of shit-factories like No Limit Records, for example (which is not so much violent, but certainly degenerate). but, i challenge someone to listen to talib kweli, mos def, tribe, or almost any def poet, and try to tell me that it's too violent, or hateful, or intolerant, etc.

angry, yes. hateful? hell no.

it's ironic in a way, because i don't know of many other music-based genres that 1) bring together as diverse a group of people who follow it or 2) produce as many socially conscious minds as hip hop does. the days of politically charged rock anthems or jams (i.e. bob dylan, bob marley, mavin gaye) are long gone from the mainstream it seems. nowadays it's rare that any mainstream music is about anything other than love, money, cash, hoes, angry and spiteful sons and daughters, or worse, bored sons and daughters with nothing else to write about. . .

i'm losing track of my point, but i'm pretty sure i mean to implore people to lay off labeling hip hop as the menace to society that turns our children from playground-going innocents into so called thugs on the street. while dreams of 22" sprewells certainly aren't helping the cause . . . neither are lackluster dreams of staying too-cool by remaining aloof forever. . . people can stand back and criticize all they want, but i bet more than half of those critics aren't doing anything to help their precious cause either. i'm probably one of them, ha.

whatever.

2003-07-01T23:26:00.000-04:00

whoa, unexpected blogging hiatus . . . apologies.

i worked until 8pm today!! stop. let's reevaluate things here. i know all you real world working people are thinking: "8pm! thats nothing, i slept under my desk last night . . ." but, here's the kicker. you get PAID for your job working 12 hour days.

i do not.

to add to my dismay, i found out i might be working til 8 or 9pm on thursday. the last day of the week! the day before july 4!! man, this sucks. they should have put this in the job description.

i suppose it's good experience, but whatever, deez hours are nuts, i wasn't prepared for this. i'll deal. somehow. send flowers, it'll ease the pain.

meanwhile, this marks month number one living in my dungeon and i have yet to use a real piece of silverware. . . i never thought i'd live like the stereotypical single man once i was on my own. in general, i love to cook, so i figured once i didn't have any studying to do there'd be no stopping me from developing my culinary skills. however, there is one small obstacle that now stands between me and my own cooking show . . . no real grocery store in walking distance. and no car. . .

so . . .my cooking has been reduced to microwaved oatmeal in a plastic bowl eaten with a plastic spoon. pathetic i know, but a cereal dinner can actually be quite satisfying if eaten at the appropriate time.

who am i kidding? i need groceries!

2003-06-20T22:15:00.000-04:00

i just heard dave grohl, on this mtv special, say that missy elliott is the best thing to happen to hip hop . . .

yo, WHAT?!

I DISAGREE!

2003-06-20T10:04:00.000-04:00

You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

interesting . . . i took this once before and i got the traitor from the first movie, saying i'm ruthless and will do anything to get what i want. this seems much more appropriate, haha. although if anyone agrees with the former description . . .sorry to disappoint.

2003-06-18T11:32:00.000-04:00

this blog is rated PG-13 by the blogger association of america for strong language and some sexuality

i'm sure there's a list somewhere. regulations about what you can or cannot do/say/show/insinuate in a PG-13 movie. now i definitely don't know the quota of Sh!@'s you can say or exactly where the camera should be focused or how strategically placed the sheets and a woman's hair should be during a sex scene.

but one thing is certain. or at least as close to certain as you can get in hollywood.

you can only say fu_k one time. one time, i don't remember many exceptions. it makes sense though, if you're gonna say it twice, why stop there . . . you might as well throw it in with every other sentence for the sake of reality or just for the fu_k of it, hehe.

but if you say it only once, boy does it have to count. i remember the fu_k usage of many-a-mediocre PG-13 movie, but probably couldn't tell you how the movie ended. that is power. i'm probably alone in this, but if it's approaching the end of the movie and they haven't said it yet, i find myself awaiting it . . .trying to anticipate or predict the context. thankfully i'm usually still caught off guard. . .

that's the best part!

perhaps my favorite sole usage of the word in a PG-13 movie is in ocean's eleven. haha, if you've seen the movie, i can bet you remember it without me describing it. maybe not, but it was by far the funniest moment of the movie in my opinion. a brief set up: daniel and linus are about to blow up the Bellagio vault door . .. unbeknownst to them is the fact that the amazing yen is caught in the door on the other side. after struggling with the batteries of the detonator, the door explodes unexpectedly, and a surprised daniel and linus enter the vault not knowing what to expect. you don't know what to expect either. out from behind a small metal box emerges yen, covered in dust and just plain disheveled . . .

"WHE DA FUCK BEEN?" yen demands. his only english dialogue of the entire movie. it's hilarious. if you haven't seen it, sorry for ruinin' it, but if you have and didn't notice, go back and watch it again. i promise you'll laugh.

man those writers are geniuses. . .

2003-06-16T19:04:00.000-04:00

i'd like to apologize for and slightly retract my bold statements and accusations about the dead art of commenting. apparently more people were commenting than i thought, but for some reason, blogger is not showing me how many comments are on a person's blog. so while it appears that i and everyone else have no comments in the past 3 weeks . . . they in fact do have comments.

my bad. but . . .

viva la revolucion anyway!!!!

2003-06-15T20:07:00.000-04:00

so if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem . . .

well I, along with two other twin revolutionaries are attempting to resurrect the DEAD art of commenting on blogs. actually gonads still comments . . so props to him.

see half the fun of blogging is hearing, or reading to be precise, other people's opinions about whatever it is you're saying, or writing actually. now, if nobody is reading the blogs, that's one tragedy . . BUT, if people are reading them and still not commenting, then we have issues.

now i know its not just because i'm not saying anything worthwhile, because i could live with that. but even george and jon's blogs, which feature rather interesting entries if i do say so myself, are devoid of regular comments from all the loyal readers that i know are out there.

come on people, don't hold back, let those comments fly. blogger world is dry without them.

viva la revolucion!

2003-06-13T22:47:00.000-04:00

i hate mediocre indian food.

there are about 20 restaurants on this one block next to my apartment here in DC, many different cuisines, just multiple restaurants in each cuisine. for example, there are 3 italian places, 2 sushi places, 2 thai, 2 vietnamese, 2 indian, 2 mexican, etc.

it's odd, to say the least.

what is even more frustrating is when i went to one of the indian restaurants the other day, the "fancier looking one," ooh ah ooh ah. i ordered one of my favorite dishes, chicken karahi now this wasn't even mediocre. it was bad. like just didn't taste good at all. i was pissed. i haven't had good Indian food in a long time, and i know i'm partial to my mother's no oil, no salt cooking because she still manages sooo much flavor with none of the guilt (thrilling, i know), but i'm not exactly a food snob.

this was bad though, so tonight i decided to try the other indian place, which is much more modest, at least in terms of decor. this time i asked what their best chicken dish was. chicken vindaloo was the consensus from the staff. not my favorite, but definitely good so i took their word for it.

mediocre at best. ugh, that really bothers me. they operate a restaurant, it's their job to provide quality indian food. how hard can it be? really. i'm no chef when it comes to Indian food, but if you say something is your best dish and it still has no flavor, you got problems.

worst of all, it left a bad taste in my mouth. now if you frequent indian cuisine, you know that the bad taste is all part of the experience, but this is abnormal. it's bitter, and not reminding me of a pleasant dining experience. it's just reminding me of why i don't want the leftovers.

2003-06-13T22:32:00.000-04:00

i've been to the bottom and back . ..

so foolishly, i was cajoled into going out last night with my buddy and his west virginia senator co-workers. needless to say, both the liver and the wallet had suffered substantial abuse when the night was over.

i set 2 alarms for 7am so i can get up for work, and i'm dreading the sound of them. amazingly, i hear them and wake up, and, quoting ant : i thought: "oh, there's a nail in my head."

i make it work only a few minutes late, amazingly. i couldn't eat breakfast cause i just wasn't feeling up for it, but i was tired as hell. really tired. 9am rolls around and i've been at work a little while, i know i have a meeting soon and i am struggling to fight the urge to pass out on my desk.

then it occurs to me, a brilliant idea, or at least i thought it was brilliant at the time. i got up and grabbed my bathroom key. . .

into the mens room i go and head for the stall. . . peace, quiet, dim lights, nobody to see you asleep on the job. . .

perfect.

yes, i took a nap in the stall of the bathroom at work. i'm not proud, but man alive it was refreshing. i was out. had a dream and everything. thankfully i can't remember what the dream was about.

moral of the story is twofold: 1) don't go out drinking when you have work the next day. 2) the bathroom is a DOPE spot for a nap.

like i said . . .rock bottom and back again. . .

2003-06-08T01:37:00.000-04:00

i feel like my blog has turned into an avenue for me to bitch about all that bothers me. oh well, on that note:

i'm sick of the hip hop duet [i use the term "hip hop" loosely].

and by duet, i don't mean a track with 2 artists on it. that can definitely be good. i.e. mos def and talib

by duet i mean that cheesy song with 2 "hip hop artists" that immediately goes to #1 on the Four-play at 4 on DRQ like a month after it's actually released and starts getting air play on hip hop stations. i guess the quintessential hip hop duet has ja rule involved in some way. ja rule sucks. i'm sorry, he does.

now this is not to say the hip hop duet has never been done right. i think perhaps the best one of all time [and maybe the only good one of all time] is mary j. and method man "you're all i need." some would disagree i'm sure. that's fine, there probably are some other good ones out there i'm overlooking, but that doesn't change the fact that they're overdone.

granted, they sell millions of copies, so the genre is likely far from being played out, especially when all the damn radio stations play them non-stop. my favorite was on 106 & park one day. they played a new video by ja rule or nelly or someone, and afterwards they interview two kids in the crowd. now usually the spontaneous review is generic, a double barreled approval often resulting. this time however, they both ripped into it. i loved it, they were saying shit like "he needs to just stop makin' videos like this, even songs like this." another was "his whole image is just . . . wack" heh heh heh. amen.

2003-06-06T19:46:00.000-04:00

you know what i've realized i really want? complete mastery of more languages. even one language for that matter, since i'm nowhere close to mastering even english.

how sad is that? i've spoken/written/sung (poorly, mind you)/ studied, etc. the english language my entire life and i can't even say i've mastered that. i want to be able to listen to music or read books or poetry in any language and understand what everything means. really means. yes, i can translate spanish well. i know the song says that life feels like a cold fish at night sometimes . . .but it sure as hell don't mean that.

now i know that this kind of comprehension necessitates extensive study and even living in a native speaking area for a long time. i'd even be willing to do that, but there just isn't enough time to learn all the languages i'd like. french, german, arabic, hindi, kannada, mandarin . . .the list goes on forever. literally. well maybe not literally but it's a long ass list.

i think that'd be my answer to the ever-popular superpower game. walking through walls, teleportation, flying, blazing speed . . .you can have it. i think i'd want utter fluency of every language known to man (or even non-human languages like Elvish ) just like that dude in the matrix [only without all the built up sexual tension].

although x-ray vision would be dope. what superpower would you want?

2003-06-06T10:28:00.000-04:00

. . .and the powers of good prevail as order is restored in the Universe of Blog.

well after a curiously induced panic attack, i, along with many others i presume, are resting easy now that the archive SNAFU that came with the barely announced blogger format change has been fixed.

let the blogs resume . . .

2003-06-04T09:02:00.000-04:00

cats are not people.

i just want to reiterate that. now i don't mind pets at all, i think they can be great. but, what i do mind is when people treat pets, though i mostly see it with cats, like they are rationally thinking homo sapiens. . .

right now my place in DC is a studio apartment downstairs from this older white woman's house. the place is nice, and the woman is actually pretty nice too. she let me borrow her iron and vacuum cleaner and appears to be very friendly overall. . .

the problem is, the only reason i needed the vacuum cleaner was to clean up the souvenirs (read: hair) left by her lovely duo of cats. it was everywhere. on the bed, on the floor, on the couch . . .

i'm allergic to cats. the first couple nights were understandably uncomfortable.

now i ask her to use the vacuum to clean up, explaining that there is some cat hair around and i'm allergic, and she is extremely apologetic and feels terrible. "it's not a big deal, don't worry about it," i tell her, and for the most part, meaning it.

after excessive apologies, she adds [in the tone that a mother would use to talk about her baby]: "looks like someone took a nap on the couch . . ." she said it looking over her shoulder towards the stairs, i was waiting for her to start shaking her finger like mutombo . . .

i stood there for like 5 seconds, thinking "who the hell would take a nap on the couch and shed all this allergen-full hair?!" then i realized--she meant the cat. wow. cats are not people. . .

2003-05-30T15:18:00.000-04:00

yes!!!

my blog is fixed. thanks jon for the advice. it definitely worked and i don't know why i didn't think to try that.

that reminds me of something.

i feel like its selfish, but i often times find myself thinking or saying to myself: "why didn't i think of that?" whenever i come across something brilliant or otherwise inspiring. that is not to say i don't appreciate these things for their inherent value, and it's not as much of a "i wish i would have thought of that" as it is a simple "i wonder why my mind did not create that thought?"

simple example to help clarify (even though it's not a complicated concept): choreography.

when i see new choreography that i think is hot, there are a couple reactions i internally have. 1) damn, that's hot. i don't think i'd ever be able to do that. 2) whoa, that's dope, but that's not so different from [insert random move here]. . . i wonder why nobody ever thought to do that before.
it seems so logical . . .

obviously the second reaction is significantly less fun. oh well.

2003-05-30T00:51:00.000-04:00

whoa . . .who can fix blogs?

cause mine is definitely messed up.

it used to be so nicely justified and wrapped.

now its just long ugly lines.

damn scrolling.

thumbs down.

shit.

2003-05-28T15:11:00.000-04:00

so i just returned from another weekend in nyc. madness. crazy madness.
and much more fun than i thought, which is saying a lot given my high expectations for the trip.

sooo many freakin people were there,
it was amazing to see everyone again
and great to meet a few new faces.

here's the trip in a whirlwind:

airport.nYc.taxi.
taqueria. amits. espnzone. draftlottery. sachinsbday. forbiddencity. cafeteria. HBOondemand.
ant'sboss. sushithatneverwas. ktownblue. karaoke. mafia. massivefoodrun. mafia. mafia. mafia. tv.
sharon'sbday. elmo's. suede. pistonslose. drunkantmeggosteeb. sessa. excessivebartab. mahmoun's.
gonadsbooting. passedoutondeflatedairmattress. cleanup/prepare. cook. bbq. bbq. bbq. eat. eat. eat. eat.
taboo. guyswin. funKtiondvd. mafia. jill'sgame. mostfamous. movietalk. musictalk. booktalk. talk. talk. talk.
matchthewallstripes. davechapelle. bitchiliveinafuckintrashcan!!!. queensofcomedy. defpoetry. clean. clean. clean.
lahabana. bestcornever. shopabit. 555soul. waitinrain. dinneratlezie. dopeassdessert. profiterolestodiefor.
bowling. pzkills. 202. girlsleave. switchteams. pzkills. enditappropriately. HBOondemand. familybusiness.
airport. detroit. what.

2003-05-19T23:51:00.000-04:00

I've come to the realization that i love heist movies. heist movies and top 5 lists. so i'm gonna start putting up top 5 lists, but first i wanna talk about why heist movies are so dope.

ok, so any good heist movie has a smooth criminal (not a moonwalker reference). this guy (or girl, mind you) has it all: looks, charm, nice clothes, brains with enough wit to outsmart anyone who comes in his way (read: clooney and brad pitt in ocean's eleven, deniro in ronin, pierce brosnan in thomas crown affair, brando in the score [kidding on that one] ). granted, he's a thief, but ya still like him cause he's cool, he thinks his way through problems instead of shooting through them (tho often times the thinking leads to shooting, it's better when it doesn't).

another crucial element to the good heist movie: the chase scene. regardless of if its crucial to the plot, it seems the constant tension of a movie like this ( the kind of tension that makes your hands sweaty when you watch it and makes you smile, not wince with fear ) always builds to a crescendo with a dope ass chase scene. probably the best chase scene i've ever seen in a movie is in Ronin--there's hardly any music playing, just the sounds of the engines, and the cars aren't ferarris or porsches, they're drivers cars. pure. an Audi S8, a BMW M sedan, a Mercedes 6.9, a freakin' Peugeot doing 4 wheel drifts that make your eyes pop out of your head. the best part of this movie's chases . . . no tricks, they really did them they way they look. no camera tricks. the actors were in the cars almost all of the time. 300+ stunt drivers used, that's insane. if you haven't seen the movie, see it just for the chases, it'll blow your mind.

on that note, i'll go with a top 5 list:

My Top 5 Chase Scenes in Movie history (of course, only movies i've seen)

5.) The French Connection (the movie is great to go along with my point of heist movies above)

4.) The Bourne Identity (racin' through the streets of Paris, but pales in comparison to #1 . . .)

3.) The Matrix: Reloaded (i LOVE Ducatis . . .so a shout out to Mission: Impossible 2 for this too)

2.) The Rock (a Ferrari is still a Ferrari . . .and there isn't a more beautiful car)

1.) Ronin (most movies are lucky to have one good chase scene . . .this has 3 that will leave you . . .well . . .just see it and you'll know)

2003-05-13T17:19:00.000-04:00

you know what kinda annoys me?

girls wearing baseball caps. It's not quite cool, not quite sexy . . .overall i'm not a fan. at all.

granted, some can pull it off quite nicely, but those instances are few and far between. maybe its the kind of hat they wear. one of those "game" hats that say U of M or KU or MSU or COCKS . . . those aren't even cool for guys to wear, so on a girl, it just looks ridiculous. i think.

headwear of other sorts i am definitely a fan of. hats that say something about your style or personality, a bandana, shit, even headbands and sweatbands. however, i don't need a damn yankees logo staring me in the face from some hat. i get enough of that on sportscenter.

i hate the yankees.

tigers in [i should put the year in scientific notation]

2003-04-30T00:33:00.000-04:00

read this if you have time . . .its long but interesting.

here's a discussion me and jon had about it, and my latest response like 9 months later. i'm bored if you cant tell.

suj: i want to propose a question that came up in a class i took last semester. the issue was can a sense of morality (that is, what is right and what is wrong) exist completely independent of any religious influence?

now my response to this was it may be impossible to tell, because i can think of no point in history where the influence of religion in some form that would affect rationally acting humans' behavior has been completely absent. i mean its easy to say that rational man would be able to create a sense of right and wrong through his daily experiences, even without a religious moral authority present somewhere in his world, but i dont necessarily think thats true. who is to say that without any smacks on the wrist delivered for each wrong deed that either he, his father, grandfather, etc. . . committed, that a set of morals as we have come to know them would develop. personally, i'd like to think man (by the way, i use the term man generically to mean humankind, same with he, his, etc.)indeed does have the inherent compassion and capability necessary to do this without a drop of religious influence anywhere in his life, but its too tough to call. . .

jon (3 months later): from a reading, there have been three main periods when religion was at an ebb, and rationality took over. and the system of justice and ethics were not only based on religious rules. those periods are the renaissance, the enlightenment, and something else. i'm not sure if there have been only three periods of non-religious dominance, but....

i have to agree with you and say that man is very capable of having inherent compassion without any religious influence. the problem is that most men may not be able to do that. that's where religion can be helpful. it's a system of ethics to ensure that most people will have the same morals. it is like law but just much much more powerful because it uses eternal damnation as the stick. neat trick i say.

people have always needed something to prevent them from falling into chaos. conveniently, it's been religion. but i'm sure if we think hard, there have been examples when religion was not a factor in instilling morals....

suj (9 months later): it's funny i looked back on this now. cause again, this past semester, the topic came up after watching the movie "The Brothers Karamazov."

Can morals exist without religion? fuck that

It's weird, Dostoyevsky seems to think that regardless of religion or morality or whatever ethical compass may be present in a man's mind . . .he will ultimately act in the name of corruption, or at least his subliminal selfish interests to sound even more pretentious. this is discouraging, but to be honest, he had a point. at one point or another, i think everyone's greed rears its ugly head and makes them do shit they didn't envision themselves ever doing.

i don't know, i guess people rationalize it from a utilitarian perspective: while some may get hurt by [insert whatever action here], I benefit, and perhaps other will too. Eh, i dont think that makes sense, i'm rambling, no more Dostoyevsky for me. I think I'll switch to Kafka, hahaha

2003-04-29T23:36:00.000-04:00

Paul Krugman should run for President . . .

Donald Luskin should rot in Hell . . .

2003-04-29T12:14:00.000-04:00

biggest pet peeve of all (perhaps):

turn signals . . . use em.

and use em properly. is it that hard?

stupid ass drivers cruisin along pull up to a red light, you're behind them. you're patiently waiting (you're in the left lane mind you), and you're pretty excited cause there's only one car ahead of you and you'll be on your way as soon as the light turns green.

green.

the car in front of you doesn't move, and you sit there. "maybe he doesn't know it's green" [honk]. sure enough, after 30 seconds of standing still, it goes on, he flips the left turn signal and you're stuck, waiting behind this dude, with no way of going around him as cars zoom by in the right lane.

the light goes yellow . . .red. he turns finally cause he's in the middle of the intersection. you can't go anywhere. you're stuck.

i hate that, i really do. what's worse is when someone has a signal on, and you're approaching them thinking they're gonna turn. sure enough, as they approach the intersection, they cruise right on through with their signal still flashing.

IS IT THAT HARD??!

2003-04-20T00:43:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure i've blogged about this before, but it happened again today and it's definitely one of my biggest pet peeves. . .

you all know the situation: you're walking down the street and there it is: in the distance you see someone you know. whether it's your best friend or merely an acquaintance you exchange the occasional hello with, it doesn't matter . . .

you feel the awkwardness start to consume you.

there they are, 30 feet, 25 feet . . ."when do i acknowledge them? should i give them a nod? . .. the proverbial gun perhaps? . . .maybe just a wave? should i say hi, whats up, hey? . . ."

you're confused, and you know your friend is too. awkward is only the tip of the iceberg

I usually approach this situation the same way, I hope that i saw the person before they see me, then i look down, around, at my watch, at my phone, in my bag . . .anywhere but directly at the person. God forbid i make eye contact before i'm within range of normal volume conversation. . .

then there are the ones that surprise you. you're walking along, and 25 feet away they yell: "HEY!!! whats UP?!!" throws you right off your game, and you're left there, with no crutch to lean on . . .you conform. "Hey! What are YOU up to?!!"

i'm bored . . .

2003-04-15T00:39:00.000-04:00

It's interesting to see how trends and fads develop.

You usually first notice it in music. In that regard, we saw it coming with Get Ur Freak On and Timbaland's utter obsession with tabla beats. Then it moved to sampling Hindi songs in the background of hip hop songs (see Addicted and React). Then it progressed to recording new hindi hooks over dope beats (Disco).

Now it's gone the full monty. Radio stations are playing bhangra music, clubs are playing bhangra, Jay-Z is recording remixes with Punjabi MC. What is going on?

i have no idea . . .but I kinda dig it . . .

I assume it will spread to fasihon and movies. Actually, I heard the new bond girl might be Aishwarya Rai, which would be great. She's hot. . .really really hot.

2003-03-29T15:27:00.000-05:00

Dance Mix 2K3 . . .

good times, good times.

So on the average wednesday night in Ann Arbor, the majority of people are either, at home hangin out, maybe at the bar later on, doing work at the library, goin to a practice of some sort, etc. however, this past wednesday 1,200 people decided to break the monotony of the mid-week hump and get out to see the best dancers on campus do their thing at the power center.

i must admit, i was skeptical. everyone said they were coming, but i really wondered who would actually show up to see a show in the middle of the week. . . .BUT .. . everyone came, and it was amazing! i think ant put it best when he said that being on stage with people cheering for you is surreal to say the least. . .

we (2XS) were huddled off stage about to go on . . .we're saying, "do it for us, just have fun, do it for ourselves"

. . .and we did it. for sure we did it. killed it in fact. not to sound overconfident, cause no performance is perfect. but we killed it cause we worked so hard and we had fun, regardless of how it looked (which apparently was pretty good), we had fun. so much fun. afterwards when all the dance peeps were in a circle yelling and jumping up and down with nonsensical chants, thats what you remember. not the fed up feeling at a 3am practice, not the utter pain of going to class at 8:30am after having gone to sleep 2 hours before, not the countless hours spent cutting music/choreographing/practicing/setting formations/deciding on costumes, etc. . . .its the fun. thats it. that feeling of "wow, i can't believe this is over . . . and i can't BELIEVE we get to do it again next week!" this is somethin special.

one passion. one love. one.

2003-03-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

So now that DD is over, i find myself with extra free time. It's not excessive amounts, but it definitely feels like it compared to my old schedule. The good news is i'm getting a lot more work done, so thats definitely working out nicely. The bad news is i'm afraid of approaching jon dorsey--posted on the couch--status. Now luckily it hasn't reached that degree of severity yet, but the symptoms are starting to appear: short naps on the couch at inopportune times, an almost memorization of MTV Jams and VH1 Soul's playlists, etc.

Lets hope i can curb this before finals . . . actually its not that bad, i just wanted to blog about nothing.

2003-03-12T13:11:00.000-05:00

so i'm watching Crossfire on CNN yesterday, and i hear about the fact that various restaurants around the country have ceased to call french fries by their name. Instead, they created a new, oh-so-creative name for the potato snack: Freedom Fries. . .

yes, you heard right, freedom fries. now if anyone doesn't get the reference, its a rejection of anything "french" since our long time political and war-time ally has refused to condone any act of war against Iraq.

This is another example of excessive patriotic nonsense from the right. . .i'm just kinda sick of the whole skewing of facts to sway people to support war. We have the government falsifying documents and completely ignoring UN resolutions. We have video games where the objective is to "kill the Arab," what the hell does that say about our country and our own level of civilization? the scary part is, its obvious for most to see whats "propaganda" and what's at least mostly honest . . . but there are millions of people who cannot. These are probably the same people who love the idea of waging a war that will cost billions of dollars in conjunction with a billion dollar+ tax cut. What's going on? I know i'm not a government budgetary expert, but where is the money coming from? oh, thats right . . . we have those nice little machines that print convenient paper currency whose worth is completely dependent upon trust . . . a trust that is being completely taken advantage of. dammit . . .

2003-03-12T12:57:00.000-05:00

to mono and tyra:

i'm initiating a boycott of mono and tyra's blog comments . .. no longer will we be repressed by the fascism of forced commenting! i'll comment whenever i damn well please . . .not when someone asks me to, hahaha.

2003-03-05T11:35:00.000-05:00

vegas, baby . . .vegas.

so how easy is it to lose money in las vegas? pretty damn easy. Considering our hotel was free (mandalay bay is pretty dope for the record) thanks to our friend Vinnie, or actually his grandfather, one would think that we wouldn't spend too much money in only 4 days. well that was wrong. i even had a cheap flight out there and i still managed to spend a decent amount of money. it almost doesn't make sense. we got a lot of free drinks in the casino, i personally didn't lose too much money gambling, we pretty much only ate 2 meals a day. hmm. somethin dont add up. whats ridiculous about vegas (aside from the fact that every hot girl is either a stripper or a hooker), is that you pay more for stuff you usually dont pay attention to. each cab ride down the strip was about $10, $15 to the airport, so that added up. we had to grease some bouncers' palms to avoid lines in clubs occasionally, and drinks at bars got up to $10 apiece, which is expected in a trendy city bar i guess. whatever though, i had a great time with good friends and met some very . . .interesting people.

they have hooker catalogs too . . .which i found hilarious as a concept.

2003-02-08T19:44:00.000-05:00

time can go by really quickly and really slowly at the same time. no, this is not some philosophy from me, but just me realizing that i've lost track of the past few weeks quite easily. on the one hand, it seems like they've gone by really slowly, only a week and a half ago did i have my face shoved in a saucer full of whipped cream for my birthday. on the other hand, it seems like this week absolutely flew by. . .maybe because i was awake for virtually ALL of it. literally, i've forgotten what it feels like to be fully awake.

i'm not complaining. i've been working non-stop on all sorts of things for Dandia Dhamaka, coming FEBRUARY 15, 2003 at the masonic temple in Detroit!!!!!! despite the stress and lack of sleep and ignorance of my school work, i've been enjoying the experience thoroughly though. you really learn to trust other people when you have no choice but to. that sounds terrible, but its not. really. what i mean is stuff simply won't get done in time if you try to do it all yourself. besides, trying to do everything just isn't good for you. for your health. for your success. for your sanity. nothing. it's taking me awhile to figure that out still . . .whatever. with time comes maturity right? something like that.

2002-11-20T12:50:00.000-05:00

i have the best friends in the world. period. while i've realized this for awhile, i don't know that i've said it enough. a friend once told me that all of his friends were "beautiful, talented, and intelligent" and that if he didn't think so, then why would they be his friends in the first place. that comment really makes sense to me, even more than i had originally anticipated. since i left high school, i've found myself losing contact with a lot of people i used to consider "good friends." i've always just attributed it to incidence and not intent, and i truly believed that for a long time. it helped me rationalize it i suppose, probably just because i didn't want to admit i was the kind of person who could lose touch with close friends so quickly and for seemingly no reason (not that i hold grudges or anything, cause i don't). however, i've come to realize that, while i was not going out of my way to push these people to the background, i certainly wasn't doing much to keep them up front with me.

how did i notice this? simple. i haven't lost touch with everyone i used to be close with, and the ones with whom i've maintained old friendships are the ones who truly matter. now i know that's a horrible thing to say, and i don't mean it in the sense that if i'm not in close contact with a person, they don't matter. i'm thinking more along lines of personal evolution, as pretentious as that sounds. i think i've changed a lot since i got to college, a lot. and i think the ones who have stayed with me the whole time are the ones who have been changing with me, or at least the ones who continue to accept me as their friend despite the changes. that's friendship to me. i'm rambling, losing focus . . .

back to my friends being dope . . . so the ones i've kept with me and especially the ones i've gotten close to since college are all indeed "beautiful, talented, and intelligent" people. i learn something new from them everyday, no exaggeration. whether its about someone else, the world in general, or myself, i'm always amazed. that is not something that is easy to find or easy to replace. more importanly, that is definitely not something that is easy to forget . . .

2002-11-20T12:08:00.000-05:00

wow. blogging. i had almost forgotten what it was like, almost. in the back of my mind all this time i've had this nagging feeling that there's something i should be doing, something i'm forgetting. now, on the prompt of scottie, i remembered what it was . . . the blog. i returned to my site and found a few comments by people asking where i was, why i'm not blogging, telling me i should get on it. well, i'll tell you where i was, i was lost, and now i'm found. . .amazing grace i suppose (to be honest i have no idea, i'm not a man of religion). ok, so with the melodrama taken care of, on to more important matters. i figure this past weekend is about as good of an event to blog about as it gets, so it'll do. 2xs, funktion, and a few other close friends all went down to UIUC to perform/party at 2XS UIUC's urbanite party at canopy club. while their campus still carries the faint odor of manure, we all had a great time. some of us too great a time . . .performing was crazy, even tho it wasn't nearly as crowded as last year, the performances were great and the party was ridiculous. it's weird though, the music was kinda wack, there really weren't a lot of people there, but it didn't matter. we were all together, an extended family of 30+ just enjoying each other's company. whether we were driving long distances, dancing or just chillin at someone's place after, the whole weekend was amazing. this goes right up there with ECASU from spring break freshman year in terms of memorable college experiences. one way or another, 99 pictures were taken with my camera that night . . .now if i can only figure out where to post em . . .

2002-06-27T19:46:00.000-04:00

had my first dream in spanish today. . .come to think of it, it might be the first dream that i actually have a recollection of since i've been here. it was during a 20 minute, unintentional siesta, which makes is that much stranger. i dont think it necessarily means anything on a psychological level, but i just thought it was kind of an interesting milestone. and i definitely am now getting fairly comfortable with spaniards on the street, meaning all those outside the house i live in and classes i take. the sad but expected part is. . . im leaving in 2 weeks. . .perfect. back to square one

2002-06-19T07:40:00.000-04:00

so whats on my mind. . . the music here. . .in a word, frustrating. all the clubs or bars or pretty much anywhere else ive been seem to be completely and utterly devoid of any music sense. its not even that its all house, cause i like house music, but even the house they play is questionable. whats worse is the other stuff they play, while spanish pop or dance music is actually catchy and fun (a definite highlight), the american music they play is the worst.. . .the worst. there's about 3 or 4 main, huge popular discotecas here: joy, kapital, palacio are the biggest. . . ive been to joy and palacio, but not kapital (which ive heard plays good music and i wanna check it out) anyway, in both joy and palacio, the most popular american songs i heard were: 1. wake me up before you go-go by, you guessed it, wham. 2. YMCA. 3. its raining men. now not to take anything away from george michael and his hotpants of the 80´s, but it was really hard to get into the laser, fog, and dancers on stage scene in a huge club when thats what music youre hearin. . .just a gripe of mine. i did go to one great bar the other night, playing some decent hip hop, although it was kinda old.. . my mission is to find a place with new, good music, i just haven´t been looking hard enough, i know it. ..

2002-06-08T14:18:00.000-04:00

ok i've devised a new system, so get ready: seeing as how i have two beautiful blogs up and running (the other being ) , i've come to the decision that this blog will be for my actual thoughts and/or reactions to all that goes on here, while vivaespana will serve as more of an update as to what i´m doing to pass the time. we'll see how well this plan works out in practice, but in theory, its nice. . .on that note, check out the other site to hear about my day in Toledo. (españa, not ohio. . .thank god)

2002-06-03T07:49:00.000-04:00

couple things i've noticed since ive been here (a few thoughts and observations if youll excuse the reference to my description of this page): while europe may indeed be more "progressive" in the sense of their collectivist mentality or affinity to extensive social welfare systems than exists in the united states, in my opinion they have miles to go before they can truly call themselves a progressive society. to me, progress implies tolerance, tolerance implies an absence of ignorance. while violent hate crimes may not be so common here, ignorance is certainly prevalent. ive noticed many billboards that are straight up ignorant in their illustrations of people of color, and even more commercials that im actually offended by. when i was in sevilla, i saw a poster that i really liked, it had a non-caricature illustration of a black man and a white man, with their hands linked in front. it read: "Gracias por aceptarme" (Thank you for accepting me). that was the first real evidence i noticed that there is a developing social conscience in spain today. it was refreshing

2002-06-03T07:38:00.000-04:00

wow, quite a pleasant surprise, i was checking to see if my last blog was posted, and my page looked completely different. . . for those of you who wonder who made it look so nice, jon yang, thanks so much, u never cease to amaze me. so i promised a blog about sevilla and i haven't delivered yet. from the beginning: we (our whole group of about 40 students) took the train from the madrid atocha train station at 9am friday morning (may 31). it was early, but amazingly almost all of us made it on time. we took the AVE (alta velocidad something) which is basically the same thing as the TGV, a high speed, really smooth, train. it only took 2.5 hours to get there, most of which was spent sleeping, although the moments in and out of consciousness were made pleasant by the view of mountains and olive orchards. once in sevilla, we dropped our stuff at the hotel and walked to the old part of town where the huge cathedral is. i normally dont like seeing churches, temples and the like but la catedral blew me away. it was just so big and intricate and overwhelming. . .impossible to imagine it being built. while fairly dirty on the outside, inside its clean and airy and really beautiful. there are 50 chapels i think, a couple are stunning (pretty much all gold), many others are just plain old impressive, haha. christopher columbus' tomb is also inside, hoisted on the shoulders of four statues crushing a pomegranate with their spears (pomegranate is granada in spanish, which was the last muslim city that was reconquered by the christians in spain, hence the symbolism, interesting i know. later, we went to the real alcazar, a palace and gardens with a wide mixture of architectural styles, so that was nice too. i really liked the actual city of sevilla, the older part is unique, narrow streets dividing shops, bars, restaurants, etc. they also have these huge tent-like pieces of cloth hung between buildings and in open spaces, to shield everything from the heat. its hot, really hot. and its right on the river too, which makes it much more humid than here in madrid, so it was exhausting walking around all day. after eating and walking and resting for awhile, i went down to the newer part of the city, down by the river, and saw the sun set behind this modern bridge that was built for the expo in 1992. i doubt my pictures came out cause i was using a cheap disposable camera. . . i was pissed. apparently the night life in sevilla is rumored to be crazier than madrid, but im not so sure, we went to a couple nice places along the water, and to some other nice bars, nothing remarkable, but i didnt go to that many places to really pass judgment. the next day i woke up early for no reason (i thought we all had to) and walked ALL OVER the city, saw all the major sights: torre del oro, plaza de toros, plaza de espana--my favorite, etc. it was sooo hot and i was thoroughly exhausted by about 3pm. we werent leaving til 7, so a few others and i sat and chilled in a coffee shop, talked about travelling, i think i may have found people to travel with, which is definitely good. we got back to madrid at 10 and i came home, took a nap, then went out for one of my friend's 21st birthday, not quite as exciting in spain than in the US, but still. that was a decent time, but i cannot reiterate enough how much emborrachadas (drunken girls) can annoy me. everything back in madrid is good, saloni got here yesterday, i ran into her on the street, random, but she lives right near me which is nice. ok thats all for updates . . .

2002-05-28T15:56:00.000-04:00

asi este es el primer blog que estoy escribiendo desde Madriz. I say Madriz cause thats how they pronounce it here, except they pronounce the "c" and the "z" like a "th" so it sounds like everyone has a lisp. actually thats how it started, an old king of spain had a lisp and passed it down to his sons, so people started talking with a lisp to sound like the king. fickle spaniards, ha. kidding, completely kidding. so far, everything is good, food is amazing, people are beautiful, classes arent bad, people in the program are pretty good too. actually i shouldnt say the people are beautiful, the women are beautiful. the dudes are chumps, and they all have girlfriends that look like models, its like south beach except these dudes dont have money. . .just tight pants, really tight pants. the lifestyle here is soo laid back, its hard to get used to, people just dont like to work much from what i´ve noticed. of course you know about the siesta, where shops close for 3 hour lunch breaks, but even after that, everybody goes out to bars, even when theyre 80 years old. my senora, matilde, and her aunt, tita (who is about 80 and cant hear a thing or pronounce my name to save her life, its cute) go out drinking even now, so its interesting. the other students in the program are pretty fun too, not half as fun as everyone back home of course, but definitely fun to hang out with, haha. its kinda bad though, cause i´m around so many american students all the time, and we dont always speak spanish to each other, so my speaking skills are definitely not gonna improve as much as i´d hoped. listening definitely, but speaking unfortunately is not gonna get much better. the thing thats been most interesting to me is that, even after less than a week, i dont think i could ever live here permanently. while the laid back lifestyle is a really refreshing change from the workaholic mentality thats so prevalent at home, that workaholicism is actually fairly deeply ingrained in me. i realized that with all this time to relax and just enjoy life, i find myself looking for things to fill my day with, which is partially why i joined a gym, and partially why i was glad one of my classes has so much reading. what ive also realized is that 6 weeks is absolutely not enough time to experience as much as one would hope here. they have 3 trips planned for us, so thats only 2 weekends to travel to other places really, and even though madrid is a small city, there's a million things to see, hear, do, eat, drink, and experience here, and i can definitely keep myself busy trying to take it all in. . . .

2002-05-15T20:32:00.000-04:00

a new blog. . .i'm not gonna start this one with "it's been awhile since the last blog. . ." cause that implies that i am a regular blogger. i am not a regular blogger. i've accepted this fact, with much difficulty and counseling i should be able to cope with it in 6-8 weeks. but for the time being, bear with me in my sorrow. .. .ok, moving on. so in exactly one week and one day (thursday, may 23) i am leaving for Madrid, spain for the summer. while my parents and the rest of the real world faithfully ascribe to the pretense that i'm going to "study," i can assure you that studying will be the last thing on my mind. from what i hear, spain, especially madrid, is a beautiful place filled with beautiful people, architecture, art, culture, food, etc.. . .that should prove to be quite a change from michigan, where the dearth of beautiful people, architecture, art, and culture is surpassed only by the endless gloom of caustic winters. . .it could be worse though, i could be from ohio. . .. ugh. anyway, spain, i'm hoping to do some traveling while i'm there, but i don't know where or when or with whom, so we'll see how that plays out in reality.. . for further updates on mis escapades de espana. .. check out www.vivaespana.blogspot.com

2002-03-21T18:43:00.000-05:00

So it's been a really long time between blogs. . .not really sure why. . oh well. What I've come to realize is that being a college student would actually seem really boring to the average outsider. If I described my typical day to someone, they would wonder how i don't get extremely bored with it. .. what i've also realized is that there are very few times in college that i can recall actually being bored. Nothing to do. . .what a concept, I don't even remember what that feels like. Not to say that i'm soo involved that i always have things to do, cause that's not the case at all. It just seems that there is always something to read. . .something to write. . .something to drill (2xs). . something to choreograph. . .something to study. . someone to talk to. . .someone to listen to. Listening is something that really is underrated. I don't know what i've been doing all these years, but recently, i really started paying attention to what people have been saying to me. People have some really amazing things to say when you really listen to them. . .you can learn a lot. It sounds simple I know, but stop and think, and I bet you could always be listening more carefully. . .

2001-12-24T18:35:00.000-05:00

Happy holidays to anyone and everyone who sees this!!! Have fun and be safe on new years!

2001-10-25T01:24:00.000-04:00

this blog is so boring. . .i need to add some pizazz. . .jon, step in anytime now with the pizazz.

2001-09-28T21:11:00.000-04:00

does anyone even see this page ever, i have a strong feeling this site is pushed aside into a tiny sticky corner of the world wide web, and i appear to be the only one who knows where to find it. . . oh well . ..

2001-09-28T21:10:00.000-04:00

i haven't blogged in awhile, and i think i should post something a little more uplifting this time, so i'll talk about how great it is to be dancin again. we just had our tryouts for dance2XS, and we got 3 new people. two more guys, thank god. i'm not alone anymore, a little more testosterone flowing around practices never hurt anyone. anyway, thats all for now, not really creative or reflective at the moment. . .

2001-09-05T23:19:00.000-04:00

been a few days since the last blog. Lack of internet will do that to ya. So here's a good prank: if you're ever about to move out of a house, I hear it's really cool to stuff packages of chicken and free pieces of chicken breast in the vents of the house. Thanks to the jackasses who stunned those of us at 525 Linden with that prank, we had to spend nearly $100 on candles and air fresheners just to keep from gagging every time we entered our house. We thought it was a dead animal, so did the landlord, luckily it was just maggot infested chicken, eh? At least the chicken is gone . . .we think, although the smell is lingering a bit. Although that could just be one of us. . .

2001-08-30T01:52:00.000-04:00

I realized I've already popped my blogging cherry and I haven't even mentioned the most amazing week I just had. Shame on me. Where should I start? I flew into Newark on Tuesday afternoon, Jon and Heather picked me up. Jon was bald, Heather was tanned, so I didn't recognize either at first. Soon, the insanity started. I arrived at Jon, Lynn, and Hong's place to find everyone sprawled out everywhere, playing dr. mario (Lynn was kicking everyone's ass). Food was eaten, showers were taken, sneezes were expelled (thanks Mou), and we were off to chinatown. Bubble tea time. . . sidenote: bubble tea time should become a part of everyone's day, just a few minutes to enjoy the tapioca-fun-filled experience that is boba . . .karaoke was next and then the most intense mafia game i've ever been a part of. Watching one of the games was the most entertaining thing I had done pretty much all summer. . .until the next night. WEDNESDAY: JANET!! i'm still recovering, and the way i tell the story . . .i was the guy being ridden on stage, shh. . .THURSDAY: malaysian food is phenomenal. . . cheetah's afterwards (the club, not the windsor strip joint. . .) almost didn't get in, luckily I passed the pop test by over-the-hill bouncer. said hi to anthony mason at the bar later. . .he ignored me. . .nice. . .bartender was seriously cute, but she was too into Palak to notice anything else, haha. FRIDAY: hung out with my sister and her friends for her birthday, fun, but not as much fun as everyone else had at bar 16. especially james, he had a great time. . . free advice: wear shoes in the holland tunnel from now on if you didn't before. SATURDAY: BBQ, bonded with Lynn and PZ, who now understand my cynical opinion of relationships (to be discussed another time), amit's soiree. . . much fun was had. SUNDAY: flew home (boo) ALL THE OTHER DAYS SINCE: utter boredom. . . when can we do this again?

2001-08-30T01:10:00.000-04:00

it's a sign from above. . . just hours after I mention that the internet at home doesn't work . . . here I am blogging from the comforts of my own boring home. I'm tired and I have to pack for school, but I figure I gotta take advantage of this. Being tired is a completely altered state of consciousness. It's worse than being drunk in terms of how incapacitated it makes you. Right now there's a halo around the computer, I don't know where it came from or why I'm seeing it . . . it looks like St. Elmo's Fire or something, maybe I'm about to get struck my lightning. Hopefully I will . . . I'm bored and that'd be a damn good story to tell . . .

2001-08-29T22:08:00.000-04:00

Seeing as how the internet at home doesn't work, and I don't have a computer at school yet . . . my first few blogs shall be few and far between . . . try and contain your sorrow. More to come . . .